The wonderful Ask an Archivist over at The Hairpin answers the essential question of our age:
“Since archivists try to keep the title a photograph was originally given, unless the ghost is searching the Playgirl Collection (yowza!), using words like “hot” or even “attractive” in the search box won’t work.”
Took me hours to find an actual police report and what could have went to trial for Fassbender. He was not even in the country when the abuse was apparently taking place. Finding facts is not difficult - the guy didn't do shit.
There is no conclusive proof one way or the other, that is certainly true. But I can’t find your evidence that he COULDN’T have done it because he was out of the country, either.
I do think he’s guilty. Here are a few of my reasons:
1. The story sounds convincing.
2. He’s never (to my knowledge) denied it.
3. It looks like they got back together at least briefly after all this went down, and if she had falsely accused him and smeared his name, why would he do that?
4. She only asked for about $20k in damages. If it’s a fake money-grubbing ploy, why not ask for more?
The whole situation just makes more sense and is more coherent if he’s guilty. But in the end, I don’t know whether he’s guilty. No one does, because the whole thing has been swept under the rug, just as these things almost always are. Was she lying? Did he pay her off to keep quiet? Did she genuinely not want to hurt his career? Who knows? But almost every page I just looked at looking for info about this had at least a dozen comments viciously attacking the character of his accuser, and hostile defenses of Fassbender by his fans.
Yes, people lie about rape and domestic abuse, just like people lie about EVERYTHING. But I have yet to see the truest, most unquestionable accusation of those things really destroy a celebrity’s career. HOW DOES SEAN PENN STILL HAVE A CAREER? HOW? How can Roman Polanski have people crawling out of the woodwork to defend his “right” to not serve sentenced time after he raped a child? Even Chris Brown, who faced a lot more consequences that your average non-white famous person, is back and doing well.
In the end, whether he’s guilty or not, that’s also something I can’t forgive Michael Fassbender for. That he’s benefiting from our culture of violence against women. That this hasn’t affected his career AT ALL. Even if he in fact didn’t do it or couldn’t have done it because the timing didn’t line up (which again I see no evidence for), instead of making a statement about it, he chose not to because he knew he didn’t need to because no one cares about violence against women. That’s enough to put me off him all by itself.
A few people have alerted me to this video of toddlers and you can watch as a little boy hugs a little girl multiple times and each time he does, she pushes him away. A few of the times, he seems to be prompted to continue by the person with the camera. It’s a full two minutes and nothing changes – he hugs her, she pushes him away, he gets up and hugs her again and she pushes him away again.
Clearly this isn’t street harassment because they know each other and it isn’t sexual harassment because they’re toddlers and don’t have an understanding of all that, but it is a problematic situation in which adults are standing by and letting (encouraging?) this little boy to do something the girl doesn’t want him to do and then instead of helping her use her words to tell him to stop, they’re letting her push him down over and over.
The he writes, “I could be the misogynist here and make some comments about just how badly the lady little treats this fine, young man, but women are pretty great. Maybe this kid needs to get a job, buy a sweet ride (Power Wheels, perhaps?) and learn some Karate, proving himself a worthy love interest?”
And I find that very problematic. Implying that this little toddler and all women who reject men are stuck-up, bitchy, and only after good-looking or rich men is harmful. Instead of looking at the actions and saying, this girl doesn’t want to be hugged, they are focusing on the poor boy and how mean she is. She may have 10 reasons or only 1 for why she doesn’t want to be hugged by him and all of them are valid and should be respected.
No means no, even when you’re a toddler. Especially when you’re a toddler. Fifteen percent of sexual assault and abuse victims are under age 12. Teaching kids how to protect themselves at a very young age is crucial to helping them know how to prevent or get help if they are victimized and can teach them skills they can use all of their life.
This attitude that women owe men attention no matter what contributes to how, when some men are ignored or rejected by the women they harass on the street, they call them a bitch, a ho, throw trash at them, chase them, or tell them they were ugly anyway. Instead of thinking logically about all the reasons why a woman may not respond positively to a man who hollers at her on the street, men feel it is an affront on their masculinity and lash out.
Another problematic aspect of the video is the number of people who applauded how persistent the kid is. Some people in the comments of posts talked about being disappointed he never got her in the end. Guess what, you don’t always “get the girl” in the end. No means no! 1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually in the U.S. We need to teach kids, especially boys because they are the bulk of the stalkers, not to follow or keep hugging etc women and girls who clearly don’t want that attention.
So those are my thoughts on the video, what are yours?
This is actually why we always stop hugging/tickling our son when he says “no,” and why we try to ask before we do hug or tickle him. Someday I want him to extend the same respect to others, especially women. I think about that a lot.
honestly I don’t really have any thoughts on the new Great Gatsby trailer because whenever The Great Gatsby comes up I’m just sad that a movie that’s The Great Gatsby but set in space will never become a reality. Think about it. Picture it.
He can see the green light of some space station from his space dock.
Her voice was full of standard intergalactic currency units.
Gender isn’t simply a biological trait; it’s a societal one. The female experience is different from that of the male, and if, as a male writer, you cannot accept that basic premise, then you will never, ever, be able to write women well. A man walking alone through Midtown Manhattan at three in the morning may have concerns for his safety, but I promise you, it’s a very different experience for a woman taking the same walk, and it’s different again for a man wearing a dress. Think about it. That’s a societal factor, and it’s a gendered one, and this is not and can not be subject to debate. If you’re looking to argue that sexism is a thing of the past, that the world is gender-blind, you’re not only wrong, you’re lying to yourself.