detail of jacquelyn jablonski for vogue russia sept. 2012, photographed by catherine servel
(Source: deseased, via beth-matthews)
i can’t tell you the number of movies i’ve made it halfway through spoiler-free before i break and run to the wiki for character deaths. i’m sensitive!
Me too! I wish there was some way to do this IN a theater.
glad for this warning!
I just need someone to hand me a list of character deaths before I go into a movie theater. Because I can deal with it if I’m prepared. Have you seen the pre-movie ad or whatever where the kid who takes tickets is a pig who spoils everyone for movies? I need that spoiler pig in my life.
Just went to see Hercules, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
I loved about 99% of this movie. Like, really really loved it. The BFF and I were clawing at each other with delight in the theater.
Unfortunately the 1% I really, really hated came in the last five minutes. So now I just feel kind of crappy.
Okay, here’s the deal: there was a character who was introduced, Tydeus. He is one of Hercules’s band of warriors (yes! this is a team movie! good surprise #1/???). He is established as Hercules’ most loyal warrior, very very tough, possibly a berserker. He is non-verbal, mentally ill, and has terrible PTSD from witnessing the massacre of his city as a kid. Also when Hercules retires they are going to live together on the shores of the Black Sea, and he and Hercules watch over each other at night to wake each other from their terrible PTSD nightmares, and also he rides in Hercules’ chariot with him and I’m pretty sure they’re boyfriends.
Anyway, I’m not going to say it’s the most sensitive portrayal of a disabled character I’ve ever seen (it isn’t), but he’s obviously a key member of the team and I loved him. I really loved him and I wanted him and Hercules to be together forever. AND THEN HE WAS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE TEAM TO DIE IN THE FINAL BATTLE.
Yes. Let’s kill the disabled character! It’s not like he could have had a worthwhile life anyway, right??? They topped this off by HAVING HIM SPEAK in his final moments to say Hercules’ name because love literally heals I guess? AND THEN
Hercules said “Find peace, brother.”
IT’S FUCKING 2014. IT’S BEEN FIFTY FOUR YEARS SINCE “I LOVE YOU, SPARTACUS…………..LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD.” DO WE STILL HAVE TO END EVERY TOUCHING DYING-IN-YOUR-BOYFRIEND’S-ARMS SCENE WITH “NO HOMO”?
It was just a glorious trifecta of shittiness, and the icing on the cake was that another character’s death, the old guy who was ready to move to the other world blah blah blah, had been foretold through the whole movie BUT HERCULES SAVED HIM.
I just. I need to be spoiled for this shit. Because I went from incredibly happy to furious in five seconds and now I feel bad about the movie, which as I said was 99% amazing.
Anyway if you are going to this movie and you want to enjoy the end, allow me to present you with my fix-it scenario, which is that: he’s fine, the healer lady will heal him, Hercules will have to sleep next to him to make sure he doesn’t rip his stitches in the night, and he was just faking being dead so Hercules would get mad enough to find the strength to knock that statue over.
Dress ca. 1815-20
From the Rijksmuseum
The telescope found the moon, sudden and large and glowing[…]What seemed silver from afar was dull and gray up close, a steely pockmarked half-pie of scarred rock.
Something within him gave a lurch of painful feeling. “It’s not the way I thought it would be.” He straightened, tugging his arm from her grasp. “Go ahead, look some more if you want to.” —
Theresa Romain, Season for Desire.
Have I ever talked about how much I love people who are in denial about something having intense emotional reactions to something (especially something seemingly with no emotional content whatsoever, like the physical appearance of the moon)? And they don’t know why? But you, the reader, are like WAKE UP YOUR BRAIN IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING?
It’s the best.
The voice from the doorway was crisp yet warm, like a ginger biscuit straight from the oven.
— Theresa Romain, Season for Desire.